Category: Children

When Dayani was a Little Girl

Gayatri DeviLeave a comment

These are the notes I took of Dayani and her friends between the ages of eight and twelve years. I used to write them down when they happened. All names have been changed and initialized to protect the innocent.

24 Sep 2008

“D.’s stream of consciousness.”

“Mama guess what I finished my homework already you know what N. did today he put his booger on my napkin yes his booger the germs from his nose on my napkin and I told him I used I-care language and told him N. that is personal hygiene you know what mama I am using big words now I know what hygiene means it is keeping your germs to yourself and mama I was drawing a picture today and I thought it looked nice and I said this big picture looks more like you B…. ha ha ha …and B. was really mean to me and she said ooh Dayani it looks bad she is so mean sometimes and Mrs. B. told me that I should use I-care language and tell B. not to be mean and mama our caterpillars have turned into butterflies we have six or seven butterflies now and mama do you know what penicillin is it is a life-saving drug I read it in the guided reading book you know mama I am not allowed to bring the guided reading book home anymore Mrs B. said that she lost all her guided reading books last year because people brought them back and then they showed it to the teacher and then OH MAN! MY DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK AND and they had chocolate chip cookies and dog spit on them and guess what mama E. kissed J. and now E. wants to kiss B. and it is disgusting and mama can I watch t. v when we get home my brain is tired and I can do my guided reading later it is very easy it is like only three words or something and mama I am the technology person because we have a Mac just like ours in the classroom and Mrs. B. asks me to help her with the mac because I know how to use a mac and mama I am really hungry can I have some strawberry cream toaster strudels when we get home can we go to Weis and get some donuts I am really hungry.”

2 Oct 2008 
On Thursdays I volunteer in D.’s classroom. It’s third grade and Mrs. B. just taught them stories with circular plot. So I am helping M. with his story exercise. Mrs. B. would like them all to write their own stories with circular plots.
“Dayani’s mom, what should I write about?” M. asks me.
“Oh I don’t know M. What do you feel like writing about?” I ask.
“My four-wheeler,” M. says.
“Okay, sounds good. What do you want to write about your four wheeler”? I ask.
M. tells me and I help him write his story. They have to write 12 sentences. These are all M.’s sentences. I only helped with the spelling, punctuation and capitalization. The story is his. Here it is before I forget:
1. I love riding my four wheeler.
2. When I ride my four wheeler the tires pop.
3. Then I run out of gas.
4. Then I lose the brakes.
5. Then the batteries die.
6. Then the wheel falls off.
7. Then the wheel breaks.
8. Then the motor dies.
9. Then the engine dies.
10. Then the seat breaks.
11. Then the axle falls off.
12. Then I fix everything.
1. I love riding my four wheeler. etc.
They wrote “Bumping up and down in my little red wagon” for M.!
 31 Oct 2008
So it was halloween parade today at D’s school. I was there to help out Mrs. B after my class today and got to see first hand this season’s tiny freak fest. Popular costumes: storm troopers, headless horseman, evil jester, escaped felon in an orange jumpsuit, zombies, vampires, vampyresses, regular princesses, Hot Stuff (remember that comic? I used to love it!), Dorothy from Oz, Darth Vader, a Very Scary Looking Thing with White Hair, a huge carved pumpkin, the Mask, Evil Science Genius, Dead Bride, Witches, Pirates. Mrs. B. was a box of popcorn. D. was a vampyress. All the vampyresses had black lipstick–I have forbidden her to use lipstick–so her friend–the Dead Bride–gave her some of hers. Sigh. It was an incredible parade–hundreds of kids from kindergarten through fifth grade paraded for parents and grandparents just outside the school. Tomorrow we are taking D trick or treating through the neighborhood.
8 Nov 2008
D. talks non-stop–she calls it “making speeches” and that is putting it mildly. So after school I took her this evening to buy presents for her friends A. and E. who are both turning nine tomorrow. It was dark when we pulled out of the driveway. It gets dark early these days here.  D. shrieked “Look mama the moon is moving!”
I lurched forward and stopped just in time to avoid colliding with the neighbor’s mailbox. It was true. The sky was  a milky bluish grey and there was the beautiful moon moving inside the clouds. The moon does move, sweetie, I told her, but what you are seeing now are the clouds moving. Moon moves very slowly across the night sky–sort of like how the sun moves through the day. But the clouds–you can see them move relative to earth a lot clearer than you can see the moon move. I showed her how to look at the clouds with her finger as a reference and watch both the moon and the clouds. What is moving at what speed?
We left for the store and D. had this to say about the moon on the way: “Mama I wish I could twirl with the earth so I can twirl with the moon. You know sometimes I look at the moon and I feel so calm and happy inside. It is like I am seeing all the people I love my cousins my friends–like my grandma and grandpa. The moon is a smiling face and it is like they are all here with me. The moon is so bright and you can see everything around it. . .
I was thinking how archetypal D’s comments were, knowingly or unknowingly. It was fascinating to me–she doesn’t know anything about moon or sun or its representational qualities and yet she was speaking about the moon as the seat of emotion (her grandparents, cousins, friends, making her calm and happy), which is what it is in most representational practices. In most cosmologies, Hindu cosmology, for instance, sun stands for the energy of discrimination and discernment, illumination and clarity–sun is associated with the mind–while moon represents the heart, the intuitive and emotional part of our consciousness. Sun draws you towards discrimination which always involves differentiation, while the moon pulls you towards union and merging, to satisfy your emotional needs. It is the seat of love, an emblem of the heart. It is amazing how a child sees this so clearly.  It is amazing that she didn’t say that about the sun.
 10 Nov 2008
A tortuous afternoon–I had to take D. to see High School Musical 3.  I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. I have never seen a worse movie in my whole entire life. Give me Snakes on a Plane. Give me Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Make me rake the entire planet. Anything but this. This high school is not like the high school that you and I attended. There are no subjects being taught. There are no classes being held. The only class is music–I mean musical. And then there is gym. No periodic table. No French Revolution. No Differential Calculus. No Huckleberry Finn. There is no curriculum whatsoever. The boys and girls dress as if they are in a J. Crew photo shoot. And they like talk like this like its no big deal like you know its like whatever girlfriend she was like mean and all and I’m like and he’s like and he’s so cute like and she’s so hot like. It was incredible. And ghastly. I wished I had bought a large popcorn instead of a medium because I was eating it so fast –I had to do something to still my nerves.
So the premise is that these boys and girls are graduating and they are going to put one final show before they all go their separate ways. Some of them are in love with each other and this tension creates a couple of astoundingly bad song numbers one on top of some sort of roof garden. My brother has a theory that in a movie scene if a girl wears a white outfit and she is near water then the girl must get wet. If there is no body of water nearby it must rain in that scene. Why don’t you just water the plants instead of soaking the girl? The hyper-sexualization of teenagers is unbelievable.   
Anyway they make their musical. They graduate. We have never seen them studying at all. But that doesn’t matter. Grades and SAT scores are needed only in real life. At this rate, in High School Musical 4 they all move to China to work in purple plastic factories!  But wait. Surprisingly enough, one of them goes to Julliard, one to Stanford, one to UC Berkeley, one to University of Albuquerque. 
But I guess this is a generational thing. D. didn’t see anything I saw. What did you like about this movie, honey? I asked her. Apparently Sharpay–that’s like her name–Sharpay was greedy and her songs show her as greedy and that was not good. Thank God there is a moral to this %&%^$^%! 
31 Jan 2009
I took D. and her friend A. to the LHU women’s Lacrosse team’s pancake breakfast fundraiser this morning. I have taught many lacrosse players over the years–I like the Lacrosse girls. They are deadly athletes and excellent students.  They are very good in sports and equally good in academics–wholesome and well-rounded kids. So, anyway we were at the pancake breakfast, and Dayani is a talker but A. is a talker to the nth degree. My student K. was serving us and A. just wow-ed her by telling all these stories nonstop–she has this little tweety bird voice  she is very sweet-looking (she is eight) and she went on this incredible story about how the McGhee school is haunted: a custodial person died in one of the bathrooms and the ghost comes out at night and shuts the door to the girl’s bathroom and sometimes you see janitors walking upside down on the ceiling and one time the ghost shut the door to the stall from the inside and you have to crawl on the floor to get inside!
I wished I had a tape-recorder and could have taped all the things A. said today.  So my student K. said, “A. you tell such good stories.” A. was very indignant and said, “I am not a story-teller. I am a truth-teller.” We were walking back from the Fieldhouse to the parking lot when a green car drove by incredibly fast. A. said, “that green car is trying to murder me. I will solve my murder.” I asked, “A. how do you solve your murder when you are dead?” A. said, “I am going to get out of my murder so I can solve it.”  So there. 
Other things A. said today: ” I wish Dayani was my cousin.”  Is Dayani my cousin, Gayatri? she asked me. Well, she is, A., if you think so, I told her. Dayani is my cousin, A. said. We both have black hair. A. is spending the day with us and when we got back D and A wanted to play pet detectives. Naturally I am their first client Miss Dogloveski who has lost her dog called Sassy. Sassy got lost while Miss Dogloveski was making bacon for her, her favorite food. Detective D. and Detective A. found Sassy in no time at all. I think they just wanted to use the walkie-talkie for a while. D’s new favorite band–NRBQ. She thinks it is a children’s band. I can see why; they radiate such joy in their music. She makes me play them over and over again in the car.
May 15, 2009 (Dayani’s Niagara trip note)
It was Friday. Right after school my parents and I went home to finish packing for  our trip to Niagara Falls! After we finished packing, my mama quickly took my fish over to our neighbor’s House! Then, we got in my dad’s truck. I get hungry very quickly so I suddenly started complaining about having no food–I had lunch and a bag of popcorn, and an apple but I was still hungry.  And my doctor says I’m underweight! While we were driving, we saw a huge wild turkey flying over the cars! My dad pointed that out to me! Then we ate our supper at Applebee’s! It was awesome! I ate mac and cheese, and then I had an oreo milkshake! Yummy in my tummy! Now we’re at our hotel. It is late at night very dark so we cannot see the water fall today. We will see it tomorrow. Guess what? My mama said that our hotel had a pool, but… THEY DIDN’T! Ha, ha, very funny! Then we went to our room, and I watched America’s Funniest Videos! A baby who horse whispered (by screaming his head off) won 10,000 dollars!  That was funny! Then I surfed more channels but found that there were no good shows on. Now, I’m writing the present. (past,present,future) Then my mama asked me if I wanted to write about my trip here and I said, ” oh yeah, baby!” Then I started writing. Now my writing that I wrote in the present is equal with the present! I’m a pure genius! Oh, wait! Do you think this is done yet? Oh! My eyes are on you! Yep! Yes they are! BYE!
May 16, 2009 (Dayani’s Niagara trip note)
Today, we did something extraordinary! We saw Niagara Falls! Cool right? We rode on the Maid of the Mist! Everybody on the boat got drenched like crazy. I was surprised that there were so many seagulls! And cormorants. Wow! Well, I was drenched, of course, because the boat took you real near the falls! After that, my parents and I went to a cafe to get our lunch. Then we got tickets to see the IMAX movie The legend of Niagara Falls! My dad was talking about people who got in barrels and went down the waterfall. Well, guess what, only one person survived for this whole time, since back in the old days, I think. That is what they showed in the movie. After we watched the movie my mama got me Dipp’in Dots! I got the flavor of Banana Split! Yum! Then, we walked to Canada! Kind of sounds funny doesn’t it? I went to a Canadian Souvenir shop. I got, some sort of extinct bug, that was preserved in a glass cover filled with resin. After that, my parents wanted to go to the Birds Of The Lost Kingdom Building. Well, first, since I wasn’t afraid of snakes, I had a yellow anaconda wrapped around my neck. It was cool. My mama totally freaked out! Then, when we were leaving that part of the exhibit my dad and I saw a spiked pouch lizard. Its name was Pumpkin. It looked like a a statue, but it was actually real. My mama was really scared so she offered to take some pictures of me and my dad holding and petting the lizard! At first, I admit that I was a little scared but then after a bit of time I got used to holding and petting the lizard. But.. MY MUM DIDN’T! Sheesh! Woman these days. HMPH! Then, we went to the bird exhibit! We got to feed and pet some parrots and lorikeets! Both my parents and I got pooped on by the birds. You know? Since birds ate so much liquid their poop was exactly like water! Hey, check this out! I once heard of a lady who mistook bird poop for water! Ha, HA! Then I started bugging my mama about going to the water park, so she finally gave up and said, Yeah, yeah, let’s go. So we went to the waterpark. My dad went for a walk around the city so mummy and I went to the water park ourselves. I rode on the “Toobe” Slide! It was fun! And in the tidal pool. And other slides and rides. Then we met up my dad at the cafe, and we decided to eat some Indian style dinner today made by a real chef besides my dad and mum. After that I started writing this,and then I finished. That’s all about my trip.
 1 Jul 2009 (Dayani’s Indian trip – at my house in Trivandrum)
Kanmani–light of the eye in Malayalam–for that is what she has been named by the three musketeers–Ketaki, Dayani and Shambhu– is a stray cat that foraged for food in my parents’ backyard. But in the last couple of days, Kanmani, or Mani for short, has become as priceless as a a pedigreed Persian cat. Ever since amma told them that Kanmani is pregnant, they have been trying to make life very comfortable for the cat. The first thing they do when they wake up in the morning is to go out past the kitchen and to the woodshed to make sure that Kanmani is there, safe and sound. Maybe it is the lethargy of her pregnancy, but Kanmani has been enjoying all this newfound attention. She lies there on her side thick as a fish fillet all stretched out and her neck raised and positioned exactly for the kids to stroke it past the buttery stage. All three of them crouch beside her discussing her many beauties and virtues. Every sentence begins with a newly discovered awesome truth about Kanmani. Kanmani trusts us now! Kanmani is so fat she can’t get up by herself we have to lift her up! Kanmani let me touch her tummy! Kanmani is going to have four babies! Can we keep the babies please please please? Why does Kanmani love me so much? Kanmani is so beautiful! Kanmani’s babies need vaccination! They put a rope around her neck — she is on a leash now. The cat looks vaguely puzzled at all of this attention but is enjoying it nevertheless. Shambhu rubbed her belly and said “I can see her eggs. She has eight eggs.” “Those are not her eggs, Shambhu” my daughter offered, “those are her milk duds.” “Why are you calling them milk duds?” Luma (Ketaki) challenged. “Don’t you know what they are called?” D. mumbled unspecifically “I know what they are called. But I don’t want to say it. Nipples.” she mumbled. “The correct word is teats,” I said. “Teats–that is what we call them in animals.” Shambhu kept pulling at her teats insisting that they are her “eggs.” He is very hard to convince otherwise once he has made up his mind. They would like me to get a nice box for Kanmani, some clothes for her to lie in, some cat toys, a collar, a five star hotel mat, some sushi, some dead mice for the cat to play with–did I leave anything out? 
7pm Kanmani update. Because of the acute attention lavished on her, Kanmani absconded a few hours ago. She has run for her life, I think. She probably needs a place to quietly give birth. Anyway, it is a minor calamity in our house. The mood is very sombre right now. And they have written a *Missing* notice. Maybe a policeman will find her and bring her back, Shambhu said. That is right, the police really have no work to do in Trivandrum.
MISSING
Name: Kanmani/cat
Reward: 500 rps.
Description: White, and brownish black with a white patch on the back. Has a rope collar with red tape. Has a big tummy.( pregnant) 
Green eyes, has a very hoarse meow.  Please find her.
If you do, please return to the address:  
Number:
Sometimes seen with a peach colored cat with a very big stomach.
Note: If you see any kittens with the missing cat, or that look like it , please return it to us. ketaki, dayani, shambhu  PLEASE FIND HER! Thank you
 23 Sep 2009
D’s linguistic inventions
1. “I was like a water balloon with lots of pins sticking into it.” Context: looking back sunday evening at the big crying tantrum sunday morning. D. wanted a camcorder and I said no. Please. No. Please. No. Please. No. Not old enough to use it responsibly. How about when you are sixteen or seventeen? Five years? How can I wait five years? Of course you can wait five years. You have so many other things to do in the mean time. Why don’t we read a book? Please. No. Please. No.  Anyway after a while she figured out there was no point in crying or hounding me anymore. So this was D’s reflective moment: she always does this, comes and snuggles and tells me why she did what she did. Good, Daya, always understand why you do what you do.
2. Wednesday morning: “I bumped the knuckle of my foot!” — She tested for her red belt at karate yesterday and kicked Mr. Bianchi with the side of her foot. She was breaking a board.  I think she meant that cuboid thing on the side of your heel!
30 Sep 2009
Dayani has decided to pick a middle name for herself. And it is a good one. Dayani Sophia Pillai. Sophia means wisdom, I told Dayani.  She has even started writing this out in her folders.  All very interesting.
22 Oct 2009
Dayani’s continuing story. Part 1 of Safe and Sound.
[I have left the spelling mistakes, original punctuation and unique capitalization the way they are — she is in fourth grade. But the story is all pure Dayani. And it has all the elements of a standard narrative — exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, resolution. And since it is continuing,  cliffhanger suspense!]
It was the month of March, in Massachusetts. There was a family that lived by the sea. In that family, there was a boy called Elijah. Elijah lived with an oceanoligist. His favorite animal was the dolphin. One day, Elijah, was sitting on the beach slowly falling asleep. Suddenly, he heard a big splash! He looked, but he saw nothing. Then he heard it again. He looked, but this time, he saw a dolphin squirming in the sand. “That’s what made the noise!” He said. Then he quickly pulled out his towel from underneath him, and rushed toward the water. Then he soaked it wet. He wrapped the dolphin in the towel, and slowly but carefully rolled the dolphin back into the sea. “Why isn’t this dolphin swimming away?” Elijah thought to himself. He shook his head. Suddenly, he realized that the dolphin was saying thank you to him! They got to be somewhat of friends. Elijah spent a really good amount of time with the dolphin. Then, he had to go home. When he woke up, next morning, he found that he had the fever, and FLU. His parents wouldn’t let him go to the beach, because they thought that since the water was cold, and Elijah was playing in it, he could have gotten the cold and FLU. As you could imagine, Elijah was very sad. When he got better, he could go on the beach. He looked for the dolphin, but he could not find it. He found an old abandoned bicycle, lying around, so he picked it up, and went out to every place in the city. Finally, he came to one of his friend’s father’s marine park. He went inside. He found his dolphin trapped in a tank with other dolphins. “Oh no!” He yelled. He ran to the manager’s office and went in. First he said politely, “Perhaps you could let this dolphin out?” When the manager refused, That’s when Elijah got mad. “I said, could ya let the dolphin out PLEASE!” The manager agreed. Sure kid. Now go on home. I’ll have a boat take the dolphin to the beach. Perhaps you could tell me where?” “MY BEACH!” said Elijah stubbornly. Elijah got on his scooter and went to HIS beach. A couple of minutes later, he saw the boat with the dolphin. When they let the dolphin out of the net, boy did the dolphin scramble! Finally, they were back together. They became good friends. Sadly, Elijah’s family then moved to Texas. A wile past. One day, a kid named Sam, saw the dolphin, made friends, and made a BIG attachment to each other. TO BE CONTINUED.
22 Nov 2009
Dayani follows me around the house and narrates all these stories to me–things she sees on television, the movies she likes to watch etc. Most of the time they make absolutely no sense to me–the species all get crossed, most statements are non-sequitors but I don’t want to break the thread of her story so I listen without interruption. This morning I was making breakfast for her and she told me a story — it is the story of some monster-alien thing. Very interesting story. This is what Dayani told me–I am writing it down exactly as she told me–it is a bizarre story but I didn’t stop to clarify anything–it overdetermines itself in a very interesting way:
“So Susan is getting married to Derrick and a meteor hits her with a quantonium in it and she also becomes a giant and in the jail she meets a scientist called cockroach and a 2020 year old fisher-MAN called the Missing Link and a blob named BOB. It is in capital letters. BOB is a blob because he started out as a tomato and scientist injected ranch dressing in it and he turned into BOB. BOB has no brain and he said I guess I’ll be a giant lady and the cockroach said that’ll be Susan BOB so BOB said so I guess I’ll go live in Modesto with Derrick and the cockroach said that’ll be Susan and BOB shouted don’t I deserve a chance with Derrick?”
Dayani is in spasms of laughter by now. I look appropriately appreciative of the humor of it all though I am not getting it at all. But one thing is clear–even among monsters and aliens BOBs and Derricks have no future together, even in Modesto. Only Susans and Derricks get to make it in Modesto. 
 1 Mar 2010
Fourth Grade Casanova
All names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Hermia has a boyfriend, Dayani announced today at dinner. Oh, yeah? Who is it? Anyone we know? I asked. Yes, it is Lysander. Lysander, I asked? The kid with the perpetual runny nose? Yes. Hermia and Lysander are in love, she said. I used to volunteer in Dayani’s classroom from kindergarten to third grade. (Fourth grade does not have parents volunteering.) And in every grade the home room teacher used to ask me to sit with Lysander and help him with class work. Lysander was a cute-looking little blonde haired boy but he was unkempt. I don’t think he brushed his teeth, washed his face or changed his clothes before coming to school. His eyelids were always caked with sleep-crud and he used to have food-stains around his mouth. He had a perpetual cold and his nose ran all the time. In kindergarten I used to wipe his nose and in the older grades I used to give him tissues and ask him to wipe his nose. His shirt collar had a ring of dark dirt running around and when he leaned forward to concentrate on his class work I could see his pale skinny and bony back. Even in cold weather he used to wear just a single polo shirt; no t-shirts no undershirts, nothing. His shoe laces were untied most of the time and I used to tie them for him. I used to feel very worried about him.
He was a very slow learner. He had been held back a year already. While other kids were making three or four letter words, he could hardly hold a pencil. He could not spell his name. I used to spend hours with him helping him put a picture together at their “centers” or write a sentence. And now the same kid is Hermia’s boyfriend.
Well, how is he doing in class? I asked D. He used to be such a quiet little boy.
Oh Lysander is a bully now, D said.
Really, I said. What did he do?
Well, he does inappropriate things. Such as what? I asked.
He kissed Helena when she was taking a nap in the Medieval Castle. (Medieval Castle is an after school daycare.) Hermia is so happy, D said; she says Lysander is my boyfriend! So exactly what does that mean, I asked D. What does it mean in fourth grade to say you have a boyfriend?
Well, D said, they sit together; they have not kissed. Lysander only kissed Helena.
Oh, how interesting, I said. Hermia runs around and tells us that Lysander called her on the phone and left a song for her.
Really, what song, I asked. “Battlefields,” D. said.
Are you sure, I asked. “Battlefields” does not sound like a love song.
It is a love song by Alicia Keys, D said. Lysander left a love song for Hermia on the phone. Sounds very weird, honey; a love song called “Battlefields” portends trouble, I said.
And Hermia calls Lysander during recess like this: here Dayani fluttered her eyelashes, folded her arms across tilted her head and said, “come here my sweetie pie.”
Oh my God, I said. Are you sure? This all sounds so weird.
Love is blind, dumb, and perhaps you are under general sensory anesthesia I guess. Hermia saw in Hannah Montana how you have to jump up and down when there are boys around so now in the gym if there are boys around Hermia wants to jump up and down, D. said. That is what Hannah Montana does when she is happy.
Amazing, honey. Finish your dinner and go to bed, I said. Run along.
Lysander — the fourth grade Casanova. I shook my head. A love song called Battlefields by Alicia Keys. How interesting.  Kids!
26 Mar 2010
Grateful Daughter
Last night around 9:45 Dayani told me mama tomorrow is tie and dye day; I have to wear something with tie and dye. Well, honey? I said, turning off the water at the sink–I was doing dishes– it is 10 at night. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have gone to the local hippie store and got you a grateful dead shirt or something. I forgot, mama, Dayani said with her utmost sad face.
Ho! It was just very very sad. Totally completely dismally catastrophically sad.
Okay, I guess I will be the only kid in the class without a tie and dye shirt tomorrow, D said.
Well go brush your teeth and go to bed, I said and turned back to the sink to finish doing dishes. Out of the corner of my eye I could see D standing in the hallway trying to look her saddest.
Well, sweetie? I turned and asked her. Aren’t you going to bed? Yes I am, mama, she said. I guess I will wear just a regular shirt then. Okay, I said. Good night, I will help you say your prayer as soon as I am done with the dishes, okay?
I finished doing the dishes and went looking amongst my scarves. I have no weakness for clothes, shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, bags–the usual things most women crave– but I love scarves and shawls and I have many many scarves from all over the world–people usually give me scarves or books for presents.
I knew I had a beautiful tie dye scarf from India from a long time ago and I did find it. So I got out my sewing machine and at ten at night I cut up that scarf and made a shirt for D with it. Wow, did you make that? Krish asked me. I gave it to her this morning and she was so very happy. Mama, I am so glad I have a mother, D told me. Me too, honey, I told her.
The Chickens and Other Stuff
02 Apr 2010
Yes! It is me, D! My mama let me write about what’s going on at my school. I am part of “The Reading Competition Team ” and just recently my team and I had a competition at the Bellefonte High School and boy was it a blast! I have a feeling that my Mama wrote about the competition. Did she, or did she not? I guess it’s a mystery! I am hysterical! Whew! (Back to the topic)  In my class, we are doing a science experiment that involves hatching baby chicks! Actually, the whole point of  the project is to hatch chicks! My teacher bought an incubator for the eggs. When I get my batch of eggs I sure do hope that I get an Ameraucana! We have an adoption process but you can only adopt the chicks if you have a hatch. You have to give a presentation to the class about why you think your home will be good for the chickens. I think my home would be good for the chicks ( or soon  to be chickens ) because we have a big backyard and our house is pretty roomy. My parents I think, actually trust me with live things! We also had a Pep Rally today at school and was hosted by our principal Mrs.T.! Boy, did she do a good job! Great job Mrs. T. Now, compare that to me being hysterical. Me=14 points Teacher : 78 p. You rock teach! I also really want to thank Mrs. B., my enrichment teacher for inviting my friends and I down to her classroom to do all these fun activities. The PSSA is coming up soon. The PSSA is a really important test! I’m gonna conquer it! Goodbye stress, hello Happy! At school, we saw a bear walking in the grass right before recess! Luckily it vanished into a pile of huge weeds. We also see bucks, and one time my teacher saw a coyote! I think it was a coyote. Recycling and keeping the earth clean and green is a big part in my school. I’m part of the team! There is a newspaper club and I’m in that also! Imagine if you were me! Actually if you think really deep, you’ll see that if you use your time wisely it’s not that much work. I also do Beethoven Orchestra. If you liked this writing, you’ll be seeing lots more! I enjoyed it and that’s for sure! See y’all later! 
Alma Mater – The Other Mother
1 Sep 2010
For those of us in the teaching profession and those of us with school-age children new year begins in August when schools open. The university opened this Monday, but the elementary school opens only tomorrow, September 1st. It was around 4pm and I picked up Daya at the YMCA and we were driving back when she said, mama, I wish it was six thirty in the evening and I am done with my karate and then I am done with my bath and then I am done with dinner and then I am asleep and it is a very short time and then I wake up and then I am in school! I am in fifth grade, can you believe it? I am in fifth grade, she exclaimed.
I smiled and said, yes, honey, you like school, don’t you?
I love school, she said.
What do you most look forward to when you go back tomorrow, I asked D. Seeing all my friends, and Mr. C. (the fifth grade teacher) keeps fish–sharks, she said–I raised an eyebrow–and most of all, being awesome.
Being awesome, I asked her? Yes, I love being awesome, she said. (I don’t know what that means. Isn’t that the sort of thing someone else should say about you? Anyway.)
It was true. We came home and then karate was fought, bath taken, dinner eaten, milk drunk, teeth brushed, schoolbag packed, school dress laid out,  Calvin and Hobbes read, prayers said, sleep slept–passive voice seems appropriate for the driven intensity with which my daughter anticipates school tomorrow.
It isn’t just her though; I was talking to my students today and almost all of them said how long and endless summer was and how ready they were to come back to school. I was just like them and Dayani when I was young; I loved school, seeing my friends again, the smell and feel of new notebooks, new textbooks, new pens, new pencils, the new uniform, a whole new year ahead of you to do all kinds of wonderful things. It was so wonderful to see the new faces in classes yesterday and today, and many old faces; students from previous semesters coming back.
How quickly kids grow though; D told me today that she and her best friend B have made a “pact” to call each other at 8:30 every evening to talk about their day. Why honey, I asked. Aren’t you seeing each other in school everyday? Aren’t you with each other at the Y till I pick you up? What more could you possibly want to talk about, I asked her. (This is just me; I almost have nothing to talk about on the phone.)
We have to talk, Dayani said, about school. There is so much to talk about at school, mama! You don’t know, she exclaimed. True, I said. To be a child is to be always new. 
5 Sep 2010
We are in Houston, at Appu’s and Asha’s house for a quick visit over the long weekend. Dayani literally worships Luma and I have not seen her since we arrived. Luma Shambhu and Daya have taken their new dog Charlie for a walk around the block and have gone to swim in the local pool and is now somewhere upstairs doing something that I don’t want to know. Occasionally we hear loud screams and thumps; Appu tells them to walk gently–maybe the ceiling fixtures will fall off. It is so good to be here; so good to be back in Texas! I haven’t seen Luma since last summer when we were all in India and I had this incredible shock–an incredible physical shock through my whole body–when I saw her at the airport with Appu. She looks exactly like me. It was like looking at myself. Genetics is something, isn’t it?
Asha’s parents are visiting from India, so is Appu’s friend Hari– and it is lovely to see them; lovely people. Ammai made all my favorite dishes; I had the best lunch. It is so good to eat food cooked by someone other than myself! Shambhu has grown so much and is so naughty! I wonder why appachi loves me so much, Shambhu said. I like valliachan. I love you Shambhu, I said squeezing his little forehead! Asha tells me that he loves his second grade teacher so much that he has decided not to move into third grade next year! I want to stay in second grade, Shambhu told me.
Now we are trying to watch a movie, but everyone is talking at the same time, so the movie is playing in the background like a silent witness to our own production!
Sunday, September 5. Shambhu at breakfast: Delicious pooris and egg roast. Shambhu eats only pooris, no eggs. Why, Shambhu, I ask him. Shambhu’s reply: I don’t like eggs. It comes from pork.
My finishing years of Elementary
30 Sep 2010 
It’s sad. I thought that 4th grade was enough! I forgot one thing. Fifth grade. It’s D writing to you about my first 1 month of 5th grade. All I have to say is… that it totally rocks!!! There is no way that this will ever be the most boring grade of my life. My 5th grade teacher is Mr M. I absolutely love him! He has all kind of things in his classroom like a Ruffed Grouse, snake, Devil Fish, Piranha, Gourami, shells and coral etc) He also has so much plants. A couple of days ago, he brought in some bird nests of which I forget the name of the bird. I turned out to be in Math enrichment but not in Reading. I’m still advanced but not enough. No worries! I the great D shall fix that! With a bit of practice. If there are any of you that have had Mr.M as a teacher (not just in fifth grade) He still rocks!
Halloween Pulp Non-Fiction
22 Oct 2010
Spooky thoughts are in the air already. Yesterday when I picked up D at the YMCA, she was conferring with her best friend B at the far end of the room. We were driving home when Dayani asked me, “Mama, do you know what B and I are going to do?” No, honey, I don’t. What are you going to do?  We are going to say Bloody Mary four times and wait for the ghost to come, D said.
That is terrible, honey, I said.
Bloody Mary is a swear word and the name of an alcoholic drink. Both sound bad coming from the mouths of children. I’d prefer it if you didn’t say it, I said.
But mama, D said, she was a real person. She was a very bad queen.
Yes, honey, I said. There was an English queen – Queen Elizabeth the First’s sister — named Mary who put a lot of people to death because she wanted the English throne–but that is no reason to call her Bloody Mary. They were all like that. Queen Elizabeth killed a lot of people too. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. And I am not really sure that the urban legend Bloody Mary is that Mary to begin with.
Well Emilia Rosetta is going to help me, D. said. And Bob will help B.
Who is Emilia Rosetta? Who is Bob? I asked D.
Emilia Rosetta is my ghost. I made her, D said. And Bob is the ghost that B. made.
A ghost named Bob, I said. That is so refreshing. Usually ghosts have such Latin names–Cornelius van der something or the other, Alexander blah blah blah, I said. I like a ghost named Bob. Emilia Rosetta sounds very Latin too. How about naming your ghost Ashley or Cindy?
Mama, I am serious! D. said. We are going to call each other at 6 this evening then we are going to go to a mirror and say Bloody Mary three times. Don’t you feel scared, she asked me.
No sweetie, I said. I am not scared. I am not afraid of ghosts. Real live people are scarier than ghosts.  But I really don’t think you should say that honey, I said. It sounds bad. Words have energy–you should use them carefully and stay away from ugly words. Words won’t bring ghosts; but they will corrupt you. When she comes she is going to attack me but Emilia Rosetta will save me and Bob will save B.
That is good, I said. It’d be terrible otherwise. Tell me about Emilia Rosetta, how did she end up a ghost? I asked D.
Well she was this young mother and then she died giving birth to her son who was born a thousand years later. Really? How is that possible? Human beings have to give birth in 9 months; you cannot be pregnant for a thousand years. I said.
Well, Emilia Rosetta was pregnant and then she died but then she interlocked with this other woman who gave birth to her son a thousand years later.
Oh? I said. Okay. How did she die?
She died in a fire. She got leukemia.
She got leukemia from fire? I asked D.
Mama, Sadako in Sadako and a Thousand Paper Cranes got leukemia from the bomb and she died of leukemia, don’t you remember?
Yes, honey, I said, but that is the atomic bomb that we dropped in Japan–lot of people got cancer from the atomic bomb. But I don’t think you can catch leukemia from a fire, I said.
Mama! You can catch leukemia from a bomb! You can get leukemia from a fire! Dayani announced. D ended up not calling B and not saying the incantation three times or four times. No ghosts so far. Mary, Emilia Rosetta and Bob are resting somewhere in the ether. Instead she learned a new word from her reading homework — monotonous. Use that in a sentence, honey, I told her.
All evening she made sentences with monotonous — everything was monotonous. I feel so grown-up using this word, she said, all proud and smiling. Of course, I said. Words do that to you. 
12 Dec 2010
Hey you guys, this is D reporting to you my new poem, The New 12 Days of Christmas. “On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
12 rawhide bones
11 pork and beef treats
10 chewed up shoes
9 bottles of fish food
8 packs o’ gum
7 spoons of casserole
6 pairs of teeth
5 deadly canines
4 nails a paw
3 internally huge stomachs
2 big brown eyes
and a Big mouth full of white teeth.”
This poem is dedicated to our new and beloved puppy, Daisy.
8 Mar 2011
I am filled with happiness, Dayani says; she hugs her brand new guitar close to her. I am going to call him Sting, she said. Sting? I asked. Verb or noun? Okay, how about Opa, as in the Greek Opa! I don’t know, I said. Opa does not sound like a guitar to me. I got it, D said, I am going to call him Orpheus. Really, honey? I said. That is a beautiful name. Do you know who Orpheus is? Orpheus is the inspired singer in Greek mythology; the only one who almost got his wife Eurydice out of the Hades. Orpheus is the archetype of the blessed singer. It is a good name for a guitar. How do you know about Orpheus, I asked her. Remember that movie Black Orpheus that we watched a long time ago? Dayani said.
26 Jul 2011
D’s latest joke: D: Mama, do you have astigmatism? Me: Yes. D: I have optimism! Hee hee . . . Alas, my child’s jokes are taking after those of her muse, Jim Carey. Yes, as a household we watch Jim Carey movies over and over again. And then watch Daya mimic him.
I have to admit that I have grown to like Jim Carey. He reminds me of our dog Daisy. That is a compliment. We love Daisy.
This summer I am also getting my education on the sort of music that I would never listen to on my own. If I could tear the radio out of my car I would; what a travesty this clear channel radio really is. I feel physically sick when I listen to it. I wish someone would buy it and then shut it down immediately.
Songs that I have heard this summer: Someone called Pitbull sings–raps, D. corrects me–a song called “Tonight” while someone called Ne Yo sings with him.  The premise of the song is to give this guy everything tonight because apparently everything is happening tonight. Because tomorrow who knows it could just be the same.
And then someone called Bruno Mars sings “Today I am not going to do anything.” That pretty much takes care of day and night.
Then a vindictive song by someone called Adele where she threatens someone I will do terrible things to you we could have had it all. Lady Gaga on the edge. Another girl Nicole something or the other who says come be my baby put your hands on my body talk dirty never gonna let another girl take him from me.
The women are all on the edge and threatening everyone or asking people to talk dirty. The men are talking dirty.
I think the American music industry is dying.  None of these people can sing.  They cannot write. I don’t think they have any talent whatsoever. They are horribly produced and arranged. What a painful experience.
Happy Mother’s Day
14 May 2012
Happy Mother’s Day to you all! My daughter opened up a fortune cookie this evening and shouted for me from watching television –” mama mama come here and look what it says — it is totally weird – I opened this fortune cookie and it says — “Pay attention to mother’s exhortations more!” — Isn’t that awesome? For Mother’s Day”? Then. “What does exhortation mean”? she asks me. Earnest, sincere advise, honey, I tell her. Never underestimate the fortune cookie’s exhortation on mother’s day, kids!